Who stole my milk

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Stop Stop Stop


Since my last post of my current financial dire strait, I realized that everything happens for a reason, and I am not going to sweat it. As you know, yesterday, my friend told me he would loan me 1k to survive my contemporary crisis. Thank you G. The big G. It is not Google’s people.  As of this writing I know for a certain fact, I was single out for some kind of wacky entertainment for the power that be to see how sweat I can become, if and whether or not my home life was going to be affected and yes whether or not my faith remains intact.  I must say the experiment is borderline on cruelty, but you know fire forges’s gold and so soon I know I will become 24Karat now.  Ok I settle for 18Karat because 24K, although is valuable is bendable.

I have to laugh sometimes my readers – because if I don’t I would go bonker.  And who is saying that meditation will manifest money is absolutely not in the league of the saints.  Let’s, me tell you right now. The higher you go in the echelon of the Gods and Sainthood the less likely anything of predictable outcome can be expected. After all, you are grown up now and there are some cruelties experiments reserve exclusively for people like myself.  However, one thing for SURE you’re indeed can manifest anything you want. nevertheless, once you are ONE with the DIVINE It’s HIS will that is a matter here and not YOUR will.  So you people out there remember this asks, and you shall receive.  You’re so much in a hurry to become I and my Father are one stage remember the next stage up. It’s His will shall be done.

So enjoy your childhood as long as you can. You know the stage where you are in the cradle of your beloved namely the Inner Self the magnificent being resided in the chamber of your own heart … that stage is best – as just ask away my child and your wish is my command.

I hope you enjoy my sense of humor. After all let’s, me tell you another thing about God. He/She has great sense of humor.  hahahahahahahahhaha.

Money and value of self worth


I have realized lately that when yourself  worth is broken it seems you don’t make money, and even if you did make money you would find ways to thrash it. Today I feel heavy and strangely sad for my life thus far. Although the power that be seemed to block my progress, and I personally feel it is to see how I feel about it. Without a job or money in the bank, how would we feel as human being? Honestly, it should not make us feel any less than who we are because lack of it, but you know somehow it made us feel less than we are.  I am one of the most talented individuals in the world or even in this universe I called Earth, and I probably have direct contact of the divine yet one move after another, I ended up here in this tiny trailer.  I do not mind where I live really but having no money in the bank some how making me feel sad. It is not without trying I must tell you. So I keep to meditate and meditating, and I am still meditating. Not on the money but on the life in general. I’ve helped men who were less talented than me having a home, a career, a thing that without my help, there is no fucking way they could make it. However, in this moment of my life, I have totally 70 dollars to my name. Money comes for sure – a friend told me to cash in $1000 from my credit card and paid for my rent, and for my other expenses so God does take care of me, but you know I still feel sad and broken. Does money mean this much to me? How’s about live your life one day at a time? Money is very important but the question is nagging at me here, and it is not about lacking money but WHY? Why am I not making money? Why everything is falling apart? What is it that the universe telling me?

The saddest part of this as I’d recalled was – I worked, and I worked, and I worked and many times my dog just laying at my feet. He was so bored. Something was eating at me every night for few months prior to his death- Take him out to the beach and play with him. I love my dog more than life itself but what was it that driven me to work like that and why?

I sat and sat and sat and sat and sat, and you know at the end – the fruit of my labor is to work for somebody else – but at my last job, this jerk fired me because … I had no idea why … but I knew I worked my fucking best – So I got very discouraged, and I wanted to make it on my own. How sedulously is this? Another truth IT IS NOT HARD. But why couldn’t I make it? Why couldn’t I make it? Why couldn’t I make it? why?  why? why? why? why?

Anyway,  I pray for your life, and I pray that you make it, and even if you don’t, and that you have someone who supports you. This man who I am with, I helped him for the last four years – all with my own money who came to my office every day and asked why nothing is coming out of my effort.  I know he may mean well, but I wanted to yell and scream and told him – please go away – push yourself but not me -I am tired of your pushing me. If you don’t like the fact that I don’t make any money – I will leave you, and I will never look back. Even if I have to be on the street tonight my God, I will do it. So you know I am tough inside, but something is eating me inside. The inability to make money on my own is eating me. I vow to never work for anyone again even if I die trying.

Bruce Jenner Woman – Caitlyn Jenner


Bruce Jenner new life as a woman is premier on Vanity Fair as Caitlyn Jenner on June 9th 2015. I happen to like the name Caitlyn. And let me tell you the make-up is extraordinary.  She looked amazingly beautiful.  I really don’t have any words to describe how I feel about this only that it must be real otherwise who would go through such a torturing decision to go public with such a thing? Especially formally she was famous for being an athlete gold medalist.  Who would throw all of that away unless whatever it was that torment Bruce, and he is now free of it?

I would give him a score of 100 for being courageous, yes very courageous.  Vanity Fair took the first shot at Bruce and oh man the website was totally inundated with curiosity seekers, condemner and everybody else in between who wanted to know what, why and how Bruce becoming Caitlyn.

Well ladies there is no excuse any more about looking ugly – without makeup the new Caitlyn is not what you call classically beauty but with the make up holy smoke she is appealing. And she has boobs too …

So now I am just wondering if Caitlyn is a lesbian???? or will she ever have a man??? Did they mention that in the newsletter?

I just want to personally applause this decision to go public. We are so tight up about everything here, and so I think the media is having a field day with this news. Whatever it is we must be true to ourselves.  Whatever it is we must do the true thing no matter what. And the correct thing is to live up to your own idea and image.

Money and the lack thereof


If you follow my posts, you can see I got the job one day and lost three weeks later due to no fault of my own but some weird celestial charges.  Well last week I had a chance to work with two great companies but one I asked for too much money and the other it was too far and my car is about to crap out. I sometimes wonder honestly what is the big deal about making money here in this world? You work and then you got paid. Well, I have a very good life I really have.  Money comes and goes a lot so I send out my latest wish, and that have peace with it. I also start to use my own skills to help my own self to make money.  It seems to work great.

I am helping someone else now to make a name for themselves.  Without me, I don’t think this person has made it this far.  So I think my life does have some purposes even though sometimes laying awake at night I am just wondering out loud – where is the next house payment coming from? Which source? To my surprise and let’s, me tell you not sure how but every time something came through at the last minute and bailed all of us out. So one more month and more food at the table just a little longer.  So I am quite relaxed really and not this “lack of money” rattled me too much. However, admittedly, my skin is not that thick, and yes, I do feel the crunches many times.

Even so, thankfully although I feel truly I am in command of my destiny and my wish the universe command, and it is exactly like that. However, I think it sharpens my faith. Do you remember that scene from Indiana Jones and the temple of Doom where he from his faith alone must put his feet down into the thin air to materialize the bridge?  That kind of faith. I am trained to have it and to just live as joyfully as I can and not let the stupid craps of this world to weight me down.  So I say this to you my audiences, my readers – if I lose my place, then you know it probably may not be meant in my life that much. I don’t wish upon it, but by Gosh if it pushes me that far I guess we will see won’t we?

So let’s, me bring this point very close to home.

We live paycheck by paycheck, but we make enough to pay for web hosting, web name, ranking and etc.  So my sites are making money now – my job is to make damn sure more of them make money … oh my gosh. Why am I waiting this long to realize? I have been making money for these corporations, and they just kick me out and guess what? Their sites rank – the last job was painful as I was so loving it, but I guess the universe woke me up and told me gently it was time you REALLY work for yourself. In the end, I am stealing my own milk by working for idiots.

The winning and losing side of thing …


Sometimes we win and sometimes we lose. Sometimes we thought we lost, but we won. Win or lose I suppose is very much depending on our state of mind. The computer is acting weird tonight as I am writing this post at 4:47 am in the morning. Am I crazy? Not really. Sometimes it is best at this hour where everybody is sleeping and all around me is quiet. But you don’t want to watch a scary movies at this time alone either because it seems my mind is imagining a lot of crazy and weird things.

Something is very strange happening to me today. For the first time in a very very very long time, I feel at ease with myself. I am allowing me to play and to do whatever I feel like it. I feel I am no longer living my life under some kind of “should,” “ought to,” “have to.” I also feel I am no longer wanting to be anybody else but me. The feeling is so precious that I am afraid for breath, in case I may lose it. How awe it is to be ourselves with no judgment or comparing. Why aren’t we doing something? In so doing, I am actually allowing others people to be themselves. You know this has to do with some inner work of restoring myself worth. Self-worth is everything in this material’s world. It seems people can smell your desperation and automatically taking advantages of you. Worst yet you may allow them too out of yes desperation. I’ve noticed as well our women often have this self-worth problem.

We actually are very strong individuals yet we succumb to a lot of false ideas about us. We believe in others more than we believe in ourselves. If you happen to come across to my blog, I want you to begin to work on yourself worth. Being nice to you is only bringing good things to your life, and that includes financial security. You will know how much to charge your clients, and you know where is the boundary of your behavior. Well work on yourself worth – really work on it.

Working at Medical Spa

5350218-1669x2513My previous job was at a medical spa in West Palm beach.  The doctor in charge was a nice woman and her husband is running the show. I learned so much about how to make my skin beautiful. Something about collagen production and injectable fillers. Well I was explained by the doctor one day that botox is actually wrinkles relaxer – it is not really like collagen injection but some kind of solution to freeze that area of your face so you won’t pinch your face too much. Some people just did it and they did not even consciously know they did it. So over time the crease was getting deeper and deeper.

For one I was happy to see there are alternatives to make myself looking young when I am reaching the wrinkles stage. Well at this time I probably need a little bit face re contouring- somewhere in my jaw line I saw the lines aren’t smooth and sharp any more.  Check out this site to learn more about how to make yourself beautiful with so many alternatives skin care and treatments “med spa in jupiter fl“. I liked it.

Today I am working at another job and I really like it alot.  The guy who is my supervisor is a very talkative kind of guy. well i just sat there and did my job. It’s ok I guess. I got paid almost $2200 more than my last job at the health spa. I was happy to get away. It had become headaches going to work literally.

What is on your plate today?


Getting back from a group meditation in Orlando Florida.  The sky was blue and we were driving back to Fort Lauderdale in silence. The weather in South Florida is always nice.  The people in South Florida??? not sure — Many comes to this sunshine state to enjoy the warm weather.  My mom and dad are living in St Louis Missouri and today they called us and complained how cold it was. A friend who is living in Chicago Illinois was having the same problem. Are we experiencing with the global warming? Maybe we are.  Today in our group meditation we’ve heard some unpleasant news.  Our group header is going to leave us soon and we won’t have any successor.  So it is now or never we must meditate deeply and well.

Now that I am writing to this line I am just wondering who stole my milk today? I guess today the person to blame is just the way life is.  Sometimes you feel good and sometimes you feel bad.  Others will be standing by to steal your milk if you let it. I am a strong believer in being your brother’s keeper and that means if I don’t want my milk to be stolen I better hid it.

Having a blog is difficult to keep up much less to write till your bones are tired and wary and perhaps somebody who will come through here by way of the world wide web to give me their 2 cents and then 2 more cents from another stranger and then when it is reached the epic success of millions visitors a day I will then sell my advertising space.

Is life all about making money and/or achieving temporary happiness? I am not sure sometimes. It feels to me as if everyday I am laboring over my pc writing something meaningful to my own existence just to get it off my chest but you know writing is sometimes so soul soothing especially the day like today when someone you love very much will soon leaving this world of mine forever.  Granted that person is not gone as if you would believe my dog died few months ago and he chat with me all the time – especially the first 7 days after his death. I could hear him telling me – mommy after 7 days you will feel better. Yes I did and the subsequent conversations with an animal communicator who told me details he would not have known telling me that our soul lives on … Honestly I don’t really care if you believe me or not because if you don’t no matter what I said you will still not believe in me. I know for certain fact as real to me as the words I am writing to you now … that we never die. We just transform either into ethereal body or physical body. Nevertheless I could not bring myself to put his bed away.  My love for my dog lives on forever in my heart.

Today yes someone is stealing my milk alright –