Who stole my milk

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Money and the lack thereof

relax-454459_1280If you follow my posts, you can see I got the job one day and lost three weeks later due to no fault of my own but some weird celestial charges.  Well last week I had a chance to work with two great companies but one I asked for too much money and the other it was too far and my car is about to crap out. I sometimes wonder honestly what is the big deal about making money here in this world? You work and then you got paid. Well, I have a very good life I really have.  Money comes and goes a lot so I send out my latest wish, and that have peace with it. I also start to use my own skills to help my own self to make money.  It seems to work great.

I am helping someone else now to make a name for themselves.  Without me, I don’t think this person has made it this far.  So I think my life does have some purposes even though sometimes laying awake at night I am just wondering out loud – where is the next house payment coming from? Which source? To my surprise and let’s, me tell you not sure how but every time something came through at the last minute and bailed all of us out. So one more month and more food at the table just a little longer.  So I am quite relaxed really and not this “lack of money” rattled me too much. However, admittedly, my skin is not that thick, and yes, I do feel the crunches many times.

Even so, thankfully although I feel truly I am in command of my destiny and my wish the universe command, and it is exactly like that. However, I think it sharpens my faith. Do you remember that scene from Indiana Jones and the temple of Doom where he from his faith alone must put his feet down into the thin air to materialize the bridge?  That kind of faith. I am trained to have it and to just live as joyfully as I can and not let the stupid craps of this world to weight me down.  So I say this to you my audiences, my readers – if I lose my place, then you know it probably may not be meant in my life that much. I don’t wish upon it, but by Gosh if it pushes me that far I guess we will see won’t we?

So let’s, me bring this point very close to home.

We live paycheck by paycheck, but we make enough to pay for web hosting, web name, ranking and etc.  So my sites are making money now – my job is to make damn sure more of them make money … oh my gosh. Why am I waiting this long to realize? I have been making money for these corporations, and they just kick me out and guess what? Their sites rank – the last job was painful as I was so loving it, but I guess the universe woke me up and told me gently it was time you REALLY work for yourself. In the end, I am stealing my own milk by working for idiots.

The winning and losing side of thing …

girl-690297_1280Sometimes we win and sometimes we lose. Sometimes we thought we lost, but we won. Win or lose I suppose is very much depending on our state of mind. The computer is acting weird tonight as I am writing this post at 4:47 am in the morning. Am I crazy? Not really. Sometimes it is best at this hour where everybody is sleeping and all around me is quiet. But you don’t want to watch a scary movies at this time alone either because it seems my mind is imagining a lot of crazy and weird things.

Something is very strange happening to me today. For the first time in a very very very long time, I feel at ease with myself. I am allowing me to play and to do whatever I feel like it. I feel I am no longer living my life under some kind of “should,” “ought to,” “have to.” I also feel I am no longer wanting to be anybody else but me. The feeling is so precious that I am afraid for breath, in case I may lose it. How awe it is to be ourselves with no judgment or comparing. Why aren’t we doing something? In so doing, I am actually allowing others people to be themselves. You know this has to do with some inner work of restoring myself worth. Self-worth is everything in this material’s world. It seems people can smell your desperation and automatically taking advantages of you. Worst yet you may allow them too out of yes desperation. I’ve noticed as well our women often have this self-worth problem.

We actually are very strong individuals yet we succumb to a lot of false ideas about us. We believe in others more than we believe in ourselves. If you happen to come across to my blog, I want you to begin to work on yourself worth. Being nice to you is only bringing good things to your life, and that includes financial security. You will know how much to charge your clients, and you know where is the boundary of your behavior. Well work on yourself worth – really work on it.

Tiny Houses

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This enlightenment subject is rather large and controversial.  What is constituted of enlightenment pursue? It’s something I hold dear to my heart.  I can’t live a day without the spark of that God love in the center of my being. The world is so dark indeed when there is without love.  Many of us who are born and are in the dark still about our role here on Earth.  Is it enough to just eat, sleep, job and buy stuffs? Lately I am dreaming of living in a tiny RV.  I think I’ve posted an earlier post about that.  Some of these small RV is so versatile and you really do have everything. From a full kitchen to a full bath although everything inside is super size small you can make it your own home.  Why do we even need large houses? I don’t want it. I would be so happy to live in a tiny trailer or tiny home. But one very important attribute and it’s to have a dog or two with me.  But my boyfriend is not going to like it as he doesn’t like a cramp space.So maybe I just use it to travel around with my dog.  I would think it’s heavenly for me.

I honestly do not need any big houses or big car. I am content with a smaller car but excellent in gas and a tiny RV as my home.

Redemption

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Wow life is sweet.  The job I had done for this last ungrateful company showed fruitful results.  Ranking are in and all ranked at the top of Google. Well 2 sites for some reasons today slip through to the second page but they will be back again.  I just want vindications for my work and talent.  Just to let you know it is never how good you are but how much people like you.  Their judgement of you often are stemming from their ignorant and prejudices however the result is the same sometimes you lose and sometimes you win. That is the fact about life.  I just dust myself up and start again.  Who knows from what I read it seems it did make an impact … a small wave that can extend out far and wide.  Good for the next guy .. I am happy for him or her.  As for me life continues …

Liar Liar Liar Liar

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Well I just found out my ex-employer had planned to get rid of me at least 8 days before I was terminated. Well the supervisor said he had no idea and pleaded on my case – the accountant said it was problem with the thief in the company so direct deposit could not be made. Here’s the hint – when they don’t direct deposit your check it means they are waiting to see how you performed. Unfortunately I couldn’t prove how good I was at my job because my value to the company was solely relied on the mercy of Google. And as you know how reliable that can be.  So everybody was already in but nobody was telling me. What would you do? Would you tell me and risk your job? We are afraid of course but honestly would you want someone to tell you if the shoes were on the other feet? Would we or should we do the right thing in spite of our fear?

I could have sitting pretty now with a $30 bucks an hour and with future raise of $35.00 bucks per hour but then one small mistake ruined it all.  I still don’t know why everything happened the way it did all that I know I am very good at my job and I think when someone did not like your gut or just simply acting out of fears they will find needles in the haystack to hang you.

But you know what? I thank God for that to happen – because if I am so good at helping other people websites why can’t I help myself? Time of awakening now. How’s about making 10k a month? Now that is a real raise- comeback and read more .. I will tell you how I am doing.

Mine That Bird

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Sometimes a good movie put me to tears – tears of joy and happiness. I just finished watching a true story of a horse who won the Kentucky Derby Mine That Bird. I love animals and I have special respect for horses.  In America and some other parts of the cruelty worlds people killed horses for food. I could not imagine for one moment how we could have done that to such intelligent being as horses.

The footage where Mine That Bird sneaked in the inner rail and won the race …the incredible sheer of forces and determination put joy into my heart. Sitting in my chair I cheered alone if my office [yes I work from home] and something touched me so deeply in the soul. God has always favored the underdogs. Not so much of their lack of material wealth or what not but their humility.  Humbleness touches the God in more ways than one.  Not sure how many times I felt so invincible only to be shoot down later – but when I bowled my head in reverent that God made everything possible in my life. Mine That Bird yes You are mine alright even in brief frozen moment in time.

Cheers for you –

Kill the job …

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Well in any life either work or play there comes a time to say “good bye”.  Today is my last day at work and to tell you the truth I am totally ok with it. The pay is very good but I don’t see any long term future here. Every day there is gossiping and a boss’s wife busying running around spying on every one. You do think she is nice but you know it’s all faked. But if it works for the people who worked there then there is no harm done right? The husband who is the owner of this small company is a classical jerk and egotist.  If you flatter the guy you will win his approval. And God forbid do not suggest anything because it is deemed as you are telling him what to do. He is a Mister Know It All.  I am glad to be out of there. The one person whom I missed the most is the young supervisor.  He has a big heart. And the girl who works in another office yeah she is very nice too and she got it made. The wife loves her and so her husband is doing the same.  You want to make sure the wife likes you otherwise your job is on the line. Well at least I wasn’t performed as well as I could have.  It seems fate just wanted me to show up and then leave.  I am not sure what is the purpose except that I did ask the Universe to give me that job.  Nothing is ever wasted – only time I guess.

Crazy World

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Today working for a crazy boss in a crazy world felt like someone is stealing my milk. The boss sent me his personal email and then when you saw something can be bad for the company you took action and because you weren’t informed in some matter it was not needed. The boss flied off the handle .. so WTF? if you don’t want me to act on your behalf why the F you forward email to me? And then I was told each and every action I took in regarding to that email I must call and confirm .. F that again. you do it yourself man. Here is the thing – it is so easy to rectify  and not that I am the cause the company is losing million of dollars or anything- this world is crazy and you know I just mind my own business from now on. No talking and trying to take care of business. my own business hehehe –

Breaking up is hard to do …

Don’t know if astrology is any good but it has something to do with my life always when there is a mercury goes retrograde or eclipse.  Maybe there is something to say about astrology.  The Chinese are experts in telling your fortune through your hands and your face.  If this is the case is there really free will as we are led to believe?

From the event happening in my life I must say there are some sign posts for us to recognize and to do what we said we would do before we were born.  Now this is a completely controversial topic about reincarnation but I am a firm believer in that.  I do not feel having one life is enough.  It would contradict everything I’ve read and learned in my own life. What is about the law of cause and effect? What you sown so shall you reap? What if you kill millions of people and you get away free? One life isn’t enough to do justice.  What’s about having born blind and disfigured? What can you learn about that vs being born beautiful and rich? So you have to come back and learn different aspects of being. This makes sense to me.

Ok now we are back to breaking up is hard to do – yes it is and here is the one final clue. When do you know to call it quits and when you hangs on for life? Being committed to someone or to a cause has its benefits.  Good things come to those who wait. If you’ve invested a lot of time and efforts into your relationship but it is not as perfect as you would like perhaps you want to work it out with that person.  However if you have to think like that it is no good.  You don’t have to justify for your decision to leave. When it is done from the heart it is the right time and the right thing to do.

Hang in there mom and dad!

In search for a tiny RV …

31942795Well not sure why but I dream of owning a tiny Rv but has everything inside.. like bathroom, kitchen, sofa etc. everything is way too big and over budget.  I looked roadtrek and it seems the length as well as the items inside looking great. I thought of buying myself another car but maybe I just get small RV and just drive it work – and park somewhere.

I feel sometimes lost a little bit thinking now that I am or soon to be alone in this world – I only have a small dog to be my family. Honestly I have family but they are so scattered that it is of no used.

Well the price is outrageous and my pocket is not deep enough yet. So I guess I have to stay where I am at until I save more money. Sometimes not sure about you but having more money does represent some kind of freedom.

Still I call out to the universe .. please send me a new tiny RV … like $5000.00 and less :) ha … what do you think?